Video interlude: OCD music
I was reminded of this topic while listening to some ’80s-era Ramones earlier, and thought I may as well do a quick post related to the OCD which has been making it hard to write for public consumption, partly in the interest of not taking it too seriously. 🙂
RAMONES – I Can’t Get You Outta My Mind Demo ( Lyrics ) (demo version, not the album version)
Joey Ramone did have disabling OCD. It comes out here. I haven’t read his brother’s book yet (good interview), but apparently he wrote a good bit about it. In retrospect, I’d have also put him somewhere on the spectrum when I met him in the early ’90s. He was apparently also diagnosed with early childhood schizophrenia, so who knows; that used to be a common label applied to ASDs, and very few people apparently have schizophrenia develop before they’re in their teens at the earliest. (Please excuse the characteristically shrill NY Post link; it was just the first I ran across.) These things also seem to go together a lot, though it looks like I got the traits from different sides of the family.
One of the things that got me thinking and looking into the “Pure O” type (as opposed to lots of overt handwashing, etc., like a number of my relatives) was actually one bit from a Mark Prindle review of the album the next song comes from:
So things were going from bad to worse, I still had never even heard of OCD so I just felt like a stalker who couldn’t stop my brain from frying, and this is what Mike Muir had to say to me as I drove my car to school that morning with teary eyes and breaking heart: [song lyrics]
I didn’t openly inflict that weirdness on other people, thanks largely to the joys of social awkwardness, but yeah. I still get fixated sometimes; good to have a reasonable explanation other than the “stalker who couldn’t stop my brain from frying” one! Ouch.
Again, I’m not suggesting that Mike Muir or anyone else in Suicidal Tendencies necessarily has OCD, but I think that was one of the major reasons HWILT appealed to me so much, way back when (and when I heard something from it, and bought another copy a while back): there really is a lot there that can make someone with unrecognized OCD nod in agreement. Not just lyrically, but musically, in places. (Including the “If I Don’t Wake Up” intro at the beginning of that last linked post: “Thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking, never no progress, I know I’m not the only one…”. The accompaniment is perfect there.)
There’s a lot misheard* there, but yeah. When this kind of thing isn’t limited to situations where someone you cared about has died–and maybe even sometimes when it is–things are not quite right. And when these are not just figures of speech.
Well, I know it sounds crazy to say
But in everything I do, I think about that day…
Now it’s getting harder to live with it every day…
Not a day goes by when I do not sit and wonder why this had to be
It don’t seem fair to me
No, no, no, no. how could this be?
The more I wish and pray, the more it seems I waste away…
Sometimes people think I don’t know what to say because I’m looking out in space
But inside I’m praying #
A lot of my life feels like that, sometimes (except for the literal praying, but I manage some scrupulosity without any kind of theism!). Again, good to have a reasonable explanation.
I haven’t looked into any of this yet, but an interesting page: Second Verse, Same as the First: OCD, Music, and Musicians.
THIS IS RADIO RACH! (And now this is firmly stuck in my head…)
This Is Radio Clash (lyrics there)
* Including the very end, as someone points out in comments:
Anyone notice the question mark & exclamation point at the end of this song? I’ve yet to see anyone get the finale of this song correct ANYWHERE. So here ya go…no need to thank me..pay it forward…ST Rules.
Wonderin’ about that time, when it’ll be my day
And I wonder what I’ll see or what she’ll be, and if I’ll have the courage to stay
And I lost so much sleep thinkin’ out of my head, wonderin’ if I’ll be
strong enough to look her straight in the eye, and tell her that I’m Sorry!?